Nuansa Deanabila's

Dulu, setelah nonton Breaking Bad, gue langsung beli DVD Better Call Saul di Poins Square (Astaghfirullah, jangan ditiru) saking ga bisa move on. Tapi baru nonton satu atau dua episode nggak gue lanjutin lagi.

And that was ten years ago, in 2015. 

Di tahun 2025 ini gue memutuskan untuk mencoba menonton kembali Better Call Saul (BCS) di Netflix akibat nggak ada series yang ditonton.

Awalnya gue agak ragu karena keinget sensasi dulu nonton Breaking Bad sampe terkentut-kentut. Banyak banget adegan yang terlalu epik, mengejutkan, dan bikin jantungan. Tapi lagi-lagi karena nggak ada tontonan gue paksa aja.

Breaking Bad (BB)—bagi yang belum pernah nonton—adalah sebuah series dari Amerika Serikat tentang Walter White, seorang guru kimia SMA yang terkena kanker. Setelah dapet diagnosa, dia sadar bahwa selama ini hidupnya ngebosenin dan pengen melakukan sesuatu yang "seru". Along the way, dia ketemu sama mantan anak muridnya yang bernama Jesse Pinkman. Mereka berdua menjalani “keseruan” bersama-sama. 

Nah, BCS ini menceritakan tentang Saul Goodman, pengacara yang sering bersinggungan sama Walter White dan Jesse Pinkman di Breaking Bad. Di sini diceritakan historinya Saul yang bernama asli Jimmy McGill. Jadi timeline BCS terjadi sebelum BB, sekitar awal 2000-an

Yang bikin series ini juga masih orang yang sama yaitu Vince Gilligan dan Peter Gould.

Sampe nulis post ini, gue masih berada di season 4 dari total 6 season. So, here's what I think.

Vibe yang sama, namun lebih tenang

Kalau dulu nonton BB kayak dikejer-kejer gorila, BCS ibaratnya gorilanya ada cuma meratiin dari jauh 🦍. Meskipun tentu saja ada adegan-adegan yang bikin gue gelisah dan melukin bantal, cuma intensitasnya nggak sering. 

Para pemeran utama di BCS nggak bisa dibilang protagonis. Termasuk si Jimmy/Saul ini, banyak banget hal-hal yang bikin gue gemes walaupun niatnya dia baik cuma caranya aja salah (menurut saya loh). Tapiii semua yang dilakuin sama karakter di series ini ada alasannya, jadi nggak ujug-ujug gitu. Sama kayak real life, semua ada alasannya. Tidak hitam putih.

Oiya seperti yang gue bilang, karena lebih santai, BCS ini alurnya slow pace di season 1. Mungkin bagi yang belum pernah nonton BB akan ngerasa bosen karena nggak familiar, apalagi si Jimmy ini kan pengacara, otomatis banyak mencakup seputar hukum. Tapi menurut gue porsi dialog tentang hukum dan dunia pengacara cukup kok untuk memperkuat alur cerita. Karena sama seperti BB, kekuatan BCS juga terletak pada penekanan dialog dan ekspresi para karakter. Kayak kadang di awal ngomongin sesuatu yang monoton, terus tiba-tiba bisa berbalik 180 derajat. Nggak kerasa tiba-tiba nyari bantal buat dipeluk atau nyari remote buat di-pause, sekadar menyiapkan diri untuk adegan selanjutnya. 

What I like  

Salah satu poin penting yang gue suka dari Vince Gilligan dan kawan-kawan: ketiadaan adegan seks nggak penting. Asli, gue paling kesel kalau series udah bagus-bagus tapi sex scenes-nya ganggu. Paling banter ciuman aja yang lumayan passionate, selebihnya yaudah cut to black terus ganti ke adegan lainnya. Penonton juga paham lah abis itu karakternya pada ngapain, nggak mungkin abis ciuman terus ganti karbu.

Bahkan ada scene di strip club tapi strippers-nya masih pada pake baju. Gue yang nonton malah ngerasa aneh tapi salut banget so far nggak ada nudity. Dan seinget gue di BB juga nggak ada. Kudos for the creators.

Selain itu, ada satu karakter namanya Kim Wexler whom I admire so much. Dia itu temen seperjuangannya Jimmy di firma hukum kakaknya Jimmy, Charles McGill. Mereka berdua kerja di mail room atau ruang surat kantor tersebut. Bedanya, Jimmy sekolah pengacara sendiri, Kim dibayarin sama firma ini yang bernama Hamlin Hamlin McGill. 

Kim ini adalah seorang wanita strong, independent, but has a pure heart. Pokoknya berbanding terbalik sama Jimmy, tapi dia nggak pernah mandang Jimmy sebagai seorang kriminal kayak orang-orang lainnya (walaupun emang iya dia kriminal). Bakal diceritain juga background kehidupannya Kim seperti apa dan perjuangan dia sampe jadi pengacara.  

Karakter Kim ini bisa dibilang merepresentasikan feminisme cuma bukan dengan cara yang klise, banyak sekali momen "yas guuurrrlll" pas nonton.     

Karakter di BCS

Selain Jimmy McGill dan Kim Wexler, ada beberapa karakter utama lainnya. Jadi satu episode bisa menampilkan alur cerita berbeda-beda. Secara garis besar sebenernya karakter utama di BCS ini ada 3 orang: Jimmy McGill, Mike Ehrmantraut, dan Nacho Varga. Sisanya sub-karakter di kehidupan karakter utama.   

Mike Ehrmantraut 

Jagoan aing (dan banyak fans BB) ini juga ada di BB bareng Saul Goodman. Di BCS kita diceritain latar belakang Mike dan kenapa bisa kerja bareng Saul. Probably one of the most beloved characters in the series because of how badass he is. Mike ini dulunya seorang polisi, tapi karena satu dan lain hal dia pindah ke New Mexico dan kerja serabutan. Di BCS awalnya dia bekerja sebagai penjaga parkir di sebuah gedung pemerintahan. Nah, di sini juga dia ketemu sama Jimmy yang lagi kerja sebagai public defender atau pembela umum.

Nacho Varga

Kalau Nacho berkutat di seputar dunia kartel, lebih tepatnya kerja untuk keluarga Salamanca. Gue nggak bisa cerita banyak soal Nacho karena takut spoiler 😁. Di season 1 Nacho ketemu sama Jimmy karena suatu kesalahpahaman. Tapi seiring berjalannya waktu, Nacho lebih sering bersinggungan sama Mike dibanding Jimmy.

Sampai season 4 ini gue nggak merasa ada komplain yang signifikan. Paling cuma season 3 aja yang kerasa agak dragging dan sedikit maksa, cuma masih sangat bisa dinikmati. Makanya kalau di IMDB BB dapet rating 9.5/10 sedangkan BCS 9/10. Nggak jauh beda memang, tapi tetep nggak bakal bisa ngalahin BB karena menurut gue series ini adalah salah satu series yang hampir sempurna. Vince Gilligan, si pencipta bilang dia harus tau kapan harus maju dan kapan harus berhenti. Makanya kelihatan kedua series ini terasa pas dan enak untuk ditonton.

Gue sekarang lebih suka nonton series kalau di streaming platform karena mungkin seneng lihat progres (atau bahkan kemunduran) para karakternya, hampir sama kayak kehidupan. Kalau film lebih suka nonton di bioskop karena jauh beda pengalamannya dibanding nonton di rumah. 

Malah gue sering belajar tentang sifat orang atau bagaimana cara menghadapi suatu situasi lewat nonton series. Cuma memang jangan kelewat sering sih, kehidupan nyata harus tetap diutamakan hehe. 

Nah bagaimana bagi yang belum nonton dua-duanya? Lebih baik nonton yang mana? Gue saranin nonton Better Call Saul karena memang secara timeline terjadi sebelum Breaking Bad. Biar bisa lebih nyambung aja. Di BCS ini banyak easter eggs dari Breaking Bad, tapi karena gap waktu yang terlalu lama gue sampe lupa ada siapa aja dan ada apaan. Satu warning dari gue, ada beberapa adegan sadis atau gore di kedua series ini, jadi hati-hati bagi yang suka nggak kuat nonton adegan demikian yaaa. 

Sumber Foto:

https://screenradar.com/bcs-patrick-fabian/

https://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/the-full-measure-better-call-saul-the-origins-of-mike-ehrmantraut-and-a-side-mans-shine/

 https://breakingbad.fandom.com/wiki/Jimmy_McGill?file=BCS_210_Klick.jpg

https://ew.com/tv/better-call-saul-rhea-seehorn-final-season-kim-preview/

https://breakingbad.fandom.com/wiki/Chuck_McGill?file=BCS+S3+ChuckMcGill.jpg

https://screenrant.com/better-call-saul-nacho-breaking-bad-where-theories/

https://medium.com/@iitkarthik/chuck-mcgills-tragic-descent-a-character-study-from-better-call-saul-705157e6c949

https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=617964

https://www.cultureslate.com/editorials/the-two-unsung-villains-of-the-breaking-bad-universe

https://www.pastemagazine.com/tv/better-call-saul/season-5-kim

https://www.tvinsider.com/93134/emmy-nominee-jonathan-banks-on-better-call-sauls-sorrowful-wistful-mike-ehrmantraut/

https://www.looper.com/809931/why-nacho-from-better-call-saul-looks-so-familiar/

Over the past year, I let go of some bands and decided not to listen to them again. 

Especially with what's happening with Palestine (may Allah grant mercy on them). 

There are some punk bands but they are silent when asked about Palestine. I get that it's their right, but it's also my right to listen to them less or even stop.

This is the same thing with some Hollywood actors I like (or liked). They are either pro-Zionist or just say nothing about the genocide. 

Palestine in many ways, reminds me—and many others out there—about what's important in life. I'm not trying to compare myself to them, I am nowhere near strong as they are. But when facing difficulties in life, I sometimes think of Palestinians, who make me stronger. 

Coming back to music. It has been an important part of my life, but thankfully as I grow older I realize that these bands are just people. We may respect or admire them but don't put them on a pedestal.

One of the prime examples is Radiohead or Thom Yorke to be exact. His incident in Australia affirmed my decision not to listen to him or the band. At least for the time being. Also, the crowd did not pass the vibe check 👎🏻  

Not just me, but some people who found out about this, blacklisted Radiohead as well. Someone even tweeted (yes tweeted, Elon): I didn't listen to Radiohead for a year and my mental health got better. I don't know if this refers to Palestine, but you get the idea.

Aside from Palestine. I also cannot tolerate stupid acts from bands, like what The 1975 did in Malaysia. I was already apprehensive about this band, they do have some good songs, but I don't know something's just off about Matt Healy. This proved my instinct about him and after that, without a speck of doubt, I removed all of their discography from my Spotify. Come to think of it, they're overrated anyway.  

Ugh enough of the negatives, and let's step into the light.

Based on what I observed, many American bands were silent about Palestine maybe because they were scared or felt like they weren't educated enough to take a stance. Now many of them realize whose side is right. One instance I saw with my own eyes was when Turnstile played at We The Fest in Jakarta last year. They were not hesitant to put up Instagram stories with the Palestine flag visibly shown (FYI, flags were banned at the festival). 

Another great example is Hayley Williams who donated for Palestine.

So even if they're not advocating for the cause, at the very least they're not against it.  

Despite that, many bands/musicians from Ireland and the United Kingdom are way more vocal 💕 IDLES, Fontaines D.C., and Damon Albarn are among the brave. They are strongly advocating Palestine even when people give them a hard time for it.   

BUT, stepping into the grey area.

For the past couple of years, I've been listening to Brand New again. 

Oh, I was PISSED about the Jesse Lacey controversy back in 2017, I even made a post about it. The same goes with Ian Watkins' Lostprophets (his case still sends shivers down my spine, I met him in real life), or Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl who had an affair and even impregnated a woman.  

I sometimes still listen to them, one comment I saw on YouTube said that "there are other innocent people outside of the frontman, who are probably genuinely good people, So I'm listening for them."

I don't know if this is a justification or a double standard. I guess we choose our own sin path.

I know for some people, it is ~nOt a biG dEaL~ but I think about this regularly and it bothers me. To what extent should we separate the art from the artist? Can we still enjoy their crafts while condemning the makers? The answer to that is I don't know...

Photo Sources:

Jesse Lacey

Thom Yorke

Dave Grohl

Sebagai penggemar franchise film Alien tadinya gue agak ragu untuk nonton ini tapi setelah melihat sekilas trailernya gue memutuskan: watch first, judge later.

Disclaimer, I'm not really good at writing a review jadi mon maap kalo kureng berkenan karena semuanya berdasarkan perspektif pribadi.

Alien (1979)

Alien: Romulus ini terjadi setelah film pertamanya yaitu Alien yang tayang di tahun 1979. Bingung? Biar nggak bingung ini ada timeline yang dirangkum dari Geek Culture:

Jadi Alien: Romulus ini terjadi 20 tahun (2142) setelah Alien (2122). Intinya kalau belum nonton franchise ini sama sekali ya tinggal nonton satu film aja. Tapi nggak pun tidak masalah menurut gue. 

Film ini mengisahkan tentang 6 orang yang tinggal di sebuah planet koloni dan mereka pengen keluar dari situ menuju ke planet lainnya yang dianggap lebih baik. Cuma karena berbagai keterbatasan, mereka ini sulit untuk pergi karena sebenernya koloni ini dikelola oleh sebuah perusahaan bernama Weyland-Yutani. Sampai akhirnya, ada sebuah kapal kosong yang melintas di orbit planet koloni mereka dengan asumsi bisa ngebantu orang-orang ini untuk kabur ke planet yang mereka tuju. Cuma tentu saja tidak semudah itu.

Mungkin gue akan ngebahas dari sisi positifnya dulu. Film ini berdurasi 2 jam, tapi buat gue nggak begitu kerasa, karena action-packed. Terus meskipun masuk IMAX, buat yang nonton di bioskop kecil pun masih sangat oke (tapi kemungkinan gue akan nonton lagi di IMAX heheh). Dari segi cerita pun masuk akal, kita bisa dibuat peduli sama beberapa karakternya walaupun nggak bisa disamain kadar kepedulian sama main protagonist film pertama si Ellen Ripley (nggak ada yang ngalahin ke-badass-an beliau). Yang cukup membedakan Romulus dari film-film Alien lainnya mungkin para karakternya yang terbilang muda. Gue kira ini ada hubungannya untuk menggaet younger crowds, kayak yang dilakukan oleh series Wednesday dan akhirnya terbukti bisa menggiring fans baru untuk nonton atau kenal dengan The Addams Family. Cuma ternyata *SPOILERS AHEAD* alasannya karena orang tua mereka pada meninggal di planet koloni tersebut, baik itu sakit atau kecelakaan kerja karena kondisi planet kurang terpapar sinar matahari dan sekaligus dieksploitasi sama Weyland-Yutani Corporation. Makanya mereka pengen keluar dari sana. 

Kalau kurangnya nggak banyak sejujurnya. Biasanya di film kayak gini ada aja satu karakter yang nyebelin, disini juga ada tapi menurut gue ngeselinnya rada nanggung 😅 terus ada beberapa scene CGI yang keliatan banget boongannya dan maap sedikit ganggu gitu. Tapi semua ini tidak merusak jalan cerita atau ketegangan dari keseluruhan film. 

Salah satu alasan gue mau menonton film ini adalah penggunaan practical effect yang lebih banyak dibandingkan CGI. Itu aja udah cukup. FYI, another film coming out this year using practical effects is Beetlejuice 2. 

Mungkin bagi yang kurang suka thriller, gore, body horror, atau sesuatu yang njiji'i gue saranin jangan nonton karena banyak adegan demikian di dalemnya. Karena si sutradara Fede Alvarez lumayan master dalam film horor (Evil Dead 2013 dan Don't Breathe). I liked both movies, gue inget nonton kedua film tersebut di bioskop. Abis nonton Evil Dead energi lumayan kekuras dan capek, begitu pula Don't Breathe. Alien: Romulus pun punya vibe yang sama dengan kedua film itu, tegang dan banyak jumpscare. Temen gue kaget berkali-kali sampe kursi geter dan gue ikutan kaget 🤣🤣

Buat yang emang ngikutin franchise ini baik Alien atau Prometheus, bakal cukup puas sih. Buat gue masih ada rasa-rasa nostalgia kayak dulu pertama kali nonton di Trans TV (terima kasih bioskop Trans TV karena mengenalkanku kepada film-film keren) ditambah Romulus pake font yang sama kayak film Alien pertama. *SPOILERS AHEAD* Ada scene Andy, Tyler, sama Rain masuk ke lab dan ditunjukin lah itu si black goo atau cairan hitam yang diekstrak dari Xenomorph, terus soundtrack Prometheus dimainkan huhuhu terharu. 

Overall, I give it 8.8 out of 10 karena bisa membangkitkan kenangan masa lalu sama jalan cerita yang oke, bahkan ada beberapa plot twists. Cuma memang this movie is nothing new compared to its predecessors, masih memakai formula yang sama. Tapi buat gue itu tidak masalah karena eksekusinya yang cukup memuaskan. Buat yang baru belum pernah nonton juga aman kok karena it's a fun monster/horror flick and a great introduction to the Alien franchise.

Out of topic sedikit, Alien: Romulus ini film ketiga yang gue tonton di bioskop di tahun 2024. Gue baru sadar bahwa gue masih suka nonton film, cuma bukan di platform streaming. Can't never beat the experience of going into a cinema and seeing a movie on a big screen with proper audio 💯 

Sumber foto:

Alien: Romulus Poster

Alien Poster (1979)

Still shots from Alien: Romulus

The last time I opened my main Instagram (IG) account was in the first week of March. Now as I'm writing this is August. So I have not opened my IG account for about 5 months and this is what I realize.

At first, I just wanted to focus on Ramadan by deactivating my IG account. I noticed a great shift in me by not opening it for a month.

Basically, humans have an underlying need to be validated and that was what happened to me too. Having IG fueled that desire where I actually didn't need it, not from strangers or people I barely know. The opinion of those closest to me is more important. 

I'm not an avid visual person like some of my friends and colleagues who are graphic designers and photographers, so I don't feel that Instagram is for me. Words are more my forte. 

I'm still on that platform because those people there could be the replacement of LinkedIn.

But the downside of not opening IG is I don't know what my friends are up to, although that could be done via personal chat or meeting them in person.

I'm not totally off IG. I still have a second account that is actually useful, like finding info or joining competitions. Some of my friends actually follow it, even though I told them this is a second account. But they can unfollow me anytime and I'm not gonna be mad about it.

By deactivating my main account, I can focus more on other things like this blog. I've been blogging for more than ten years now. To my surprise, this platform has been useful in releasing my urge to share stuff, personal or otherwise (but not too personal, I have my own journals). It's like shedding off old skin or something, I get itchy if I don't do it. And who knows, this blog could be my legacy when I'm no longer in this world.

I have nothing against those who still use IG regularly, I simply say that it's not for me. 

And I still have that need for validation. I can say I hope no one reads this post, but it's not true. There is that small part of me who wishes people read this. But if not, that's fine too. 

Anyhoo, I still suggest taking some time off from social media and you will be surprised by the things your brain can come up with. Trust me. 

I was sleeping in a hotel room somewhere in Kemayoran, waiting for my little sister to call because she was watching Bring Me The Horizon (BMTH) Day 1. At 11.30 PM she texted me "THE SHOW IS STOPPING HALFWAY, STAGE PROBLEM. CHECK TWITTER NOW" I replied with "whaaat" and checked Twitter immediately.

At a glance, the sight was quite brutal. Some people were yelling and storming the stage. I told my sister to be careful.

When she came back safely around 1.30 in the morning, she was pissed which was understandable. I monitored social media for two days figuring out what went down until finally, Oliver Sykes BMTH's vocalist broke his silence via the band's Instagram story as to what actually happened. It was because the stage was bouncing so much that both the band and crew were worried something far more fatal could occur, so they canceled the show mid-performance. This was the right move because had they continued, it would've been dangerous for everyone inside. Many said it felt like an earthquake at the venue. They managed to deliver 11 songs out of 18 or 19 if I'm not mistaken.  

But the sadder outcome was, day 2 was fully canceled. Saosin, initially deemed the day's opening act, failed to perform at all. This marked their second cancellation to play in Jakarta this year (previously Hammersonic), by the same promotor. In their Instagram post, they're going to refund the tickets. Proportional for day 1 and a full refund for day 2. 

As a concert-goer for more than a decade now, I feel like I might have a little to say about this. BMTH has a huge fanbase coming from all over Indonesia, not just from Jakarta and the metropolitan region. Not even just from Java island. My sister's friend for example, they came all the way from Palu, Central Sulawesi. I can't imagine the amount of cost they had to spend in order to come here, yet the promotor's way of delivering the bad news could've been handled more gracefully. Putting one hand in your pocket reeked arrogance instead of remorse, not a great gesture whatsoever. Although I don't condone the audience's behavior of expressing themselves either, they had the right to be angry. I only had to experience one cancellation (Four Year Strong in 2010 or 2011), but at least it was months before not like this. And this might impact the whole live music ecosystem in the country. I'm afraid that it's going to get harder to assure bands and international acts to perform here. But let's hope that it won't happen. 

I can't say much because I'm neither the promoter nor the fans so I'm just seeing this objectively. Maybe all of this happened for a reason, but I don't know what it is. For me personally, promoters I can trust now are Plainsong Live (Joyland Festival), Ismaya Live (We The Fest), and Java Festival Production (Javarockin'land, Java Jazz Festival). Or you can check the ones registered in Asosiasi Promotor Musik Indonesia. Now summoning Java Musikindo, please come out from your hibernation. We need you and we miss you 🙏🏻    

Photo Source:

Bring Me The Horizon Poster

I was standing perplexed looking around the room that I was in. It was an old empty building by the river once used as a security post in my neighborhood. I was looking at my older brother and his friends, who were seemingly unbothered and still playing around as cheerful as they could be. What had happened was, I felt the earth shaking so hard, like the ground was about to rip open. I was 6 or 7, well aware of what an earthquake is. I was the only one seeing and sensing it. I kept that to myself not wanting my brother and his friends to regard me as a dullard little child, they were at least five years older. So, I brushed it off and didn’t tell anyone.

Supernatural or not, it was one of the many strange events that I experienced.

But I’m not about to narrate those occurrences, but rather what sparked my interest. I’ve always had a predilection for liking all things creepy and grim. This interest of mine dates back to when I was just a mere grade schooler, my age hasn’t even hit double digits yet. Back then, aside from the craze of Harry Potter, there were mangas called “Nakayoshi” and “Serial Cantik” (do I tingle some memory strands in your brain?). I tried reading both, but I always gave up halfway. I chose “Serial Hantu” and “Cerita Hantu di Sekolah” instead. I too loved reading funny comics like “Kungfu Komang”, “Hagemaru”, and “Master Q”. Even for Lupus novels, my favorite ones were ghost-themed ones. Only when I entered middle school, I dived more into the ‘teen lit’ romance genre such as “Dealova“, “Lovely Luna“, and “Eiffel, I’m in Love“. But most of the time I enjoy those horror comics and novels the most.

My enthusiasm toward scary things continues to this day. I contemplated and tried to recall what made me love this genre so much.

If I’m putting the pieces together, my Dad’s influence had a pivotal role in it. I used to watch horror TV shows, the most prominent one was of course “Dunia Lain”. My Dad would often watch it every time he was home (he used to travel a lot for work), and the curious me snuck out of bed even when my Mom forbade me from watching the show in fear of having nightmares. But my wayward behavior and great inquisitiveness made my Mom give up and eventually let me relish the terror aired on TV with Dad. There was another show that I vividly remember called “Scariest Places on Earth” which mostly visited old castles in Europe. I was just mesmerized by those shows. Yes, it was dreadful and nerve-wracking, but I always felt safe because Dad was always within my eyesight. While watching, he usually played Solitaire on our Windows ’98 computer if commercial breaks were showing (which can be very long). Before owning a computer, he’d play Tetris on his light grey game bot on the terrace while smoking, I’d yell or go outside and tell him when the show was starting back on. 

I think that’s what started it. The feeling of comfort when enjoying horror-related content. I know it sounds contradictory, but that’s just how it is. From time to time, when I lose sight of myself, engaging with ghost stories is a familiar act, which I have been doing for more than 20 years. Hence the consolation to feel like me again.

Telling ghost stories is also one of the ways my Dad and I bond. I subconsciously found solace in his presence. Sometimes he liked to tell me about scary stuff that he experienced because he was also quite ‘sensitive’. From meeting the ghost pastor in Jeruk Purut Cemetery to seeing my Grandma’s doppelgänger while studying for his master’s at my grandparents’ house. I’d attentively listen to his tales, my expression would be illustrated as that Puss in Boots meme, staring at my Dad with a wide-rounded gaze, smitten by his words.

Now my Dad and I no longer share the same dimension. But I still share the same sentiments, especially when I’m watching a movie or series. Sometimes I thought to myself, “Man, my Dad would’ve loved this”. We too share the same taste when it comes to movies. Sometimes his commentaries irked me, when there was an absurd scene, he’d say “That didn’t happen, it’s a lie.” Over and over again until I’d say to him: “Of course. It’s JUST a movie.” With a deadpan, annoyed face followed by his cheeky laugh. In retrospect, I think he was just teasing me.

Nowadays in Indonesia, horror-themed movies, shows, and contents surely still attract major crowds. For me, it’s a pleasant thing because there are so many options that I can choose. I often listen to horror podcasts while doing my activities, from working to putting on makeup. I don’t give a rat’s bum whether or not the stories were true. When I don’t quite enjoy the story that I’m currently listening to, I’ll simply move on to the next one. If there’s a story that seems really beyond reason or I suspect its authenticity, I still really salute that person for having an above-average imagination.

In fact, due to listening to horror podcasts, I know more about the culture, habits, customs, and even the religion of many Indonesian citizens. It moved me somehow ̶ as cheesy and cringe-y as it sounds ̶ we are united by our liking of ghost stories. I think we need to find more things in common these days. 

I also tried listening to horror podcasts from the West, but they’re not as interesting and diverse as Indonesians’. They are mostly just about murders, psychopaths, and aliens.

And for those who consider Indonesians are dumb for still believing in the supernatural and superstitions, well to each their own I guess. Everyone is entitled of their own opinion. 

So there’s that. I’m beyond delighted when I’m meeting people who share the same love for things creepy. Personally, I think there are two ways to unite people: telling gossip and telling horror stories. I’d prefer to choose the latter because, well, less chance of causing havoc (probably).

I'm leaving my 20s behind. Yay or nay?

It has been a while since a post anything on this blog. Well not that long ago, but it feels like forever. I just didn't have the volition to do it.

Because I'm turning 30 maybe this is the right moment to resurrect this blog.

Once again I can't belive I'm 30. Even writing it feels surreal. 

I'm not going to blab about what I have/haven't accomplished, but I'm going to blab about what's been going on these past 6 months.

I feel like I have changed a lot, there were certain situations that pushed me to the edge and I'm grateful for that. There were also difficulties that I had to face, but I did it anyway because my guts told me to. And if I have to bear the consequences, it's totally fine. The most important thing is I mean no harm.

The funny thing about the big three-O is you just let things run their course. You are no longer fighting (have never been anyway) too much. I'm just going to perceive life as one big classroom, with its never-ending lessons, exams, and surprises. You continue to learn about yourself and the people around you. 

While writing this piece, I am just going to say I'm pretty tired (mentally, not physically). Tired of so many things. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to give up. I have to move forward, no matter how slow the pace is. I still have my ups and downs, just last weekend for example. I could feel that my chest started to feel heavy because I had so many things in my mind, but all of a sudden I felt super sleepy, like my body literally just shut down. I woke up 15 minutes later feeling somewhat better, not completely healed, but better. 

During these past 6 months also I met new people. And I realized that I enjoy talking to people. I'm intrigued by all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives from different people. Although not all of them all pleasant, the majority are quite fun. None of which I would have never noticed had I not been willing to be more "out there" or feeling skeptical about meeting new people. So kudos to me hehe.

I'm saying these things probably also for affirmation, I too still have my own issues, internal and external, but so do other people, I'm not special by any means. We just have to carry on. This is my chance to set my priorities straight. Now that I'm dealing with "real" problems in life.

Funny how in this world we truly don't know how our fate works, no matter how meticulous we are in making plans for ourselves, the outcomes may not be what we want.

I truly don't know what my future holds, I might die tomorrow, I might still be alive until I'm a hundred years old. But one thing is for sure, I will never stop learning. 

The other day I stumbled upon a tweet on twitter which said:

"Ada yang suka The Vines ga? Atau Franz Ferdinand? Kings of Convenience deh yg lembutan… soalnya setiap gue jawab itu salah 3 band favorit gue, pada ga kenal 🙃 susah deh biar bisa se-frekuensi sama lawan jenis."

Gue pun membalas tweet tersebut: "Jangan lupa The Hives atau yang lembutan Sondre Lerche." because his tweet evoked a sense nostalgia. Dengan gue nge-twit gitu bermaksud mengajak orang-orang lain untuk bernostalgia sama band-band yang cukup terkenal di masa itu. Dan gue baca beberapa ada yang sama-sama keingetan juga sama masa lalu.  

Sesungguhnya pas sekali baca gue sama sekali tidak merasa tersinggung atau pun si orang ini terkesan pengen nyombong. Tapi pas baca balesan orang-orang, kok pada salty? 

"Buka aja number streamnya di spotify berapa saya yakin bukan kamu aja. Dan selera musik bukan jaminan dapet cewek, mungkin kamu sok unik dan spesial yang bikin cewek males."

"umur lu brp sih bang sampe selera musik aja mesti disama2in kalo mau berpasangan? lu mau orang yg interests dan hobinya 100% sama sama lu? ga akan ada. kalo mau diterima, hargain juga apa yg orang lain suka. respect dan acceptance jauh lebih penting drpd satu selera"

"No wonder 0 bitches 😂"

"Terus kalo selera musik antimainstream, ngerasa paling edgy? Musik itu kaya langit bro, di atas langit masih ada langit, alias apa yg km tahu itu masih sebagian kecil dr yg ada. Jangan ngerasa yg paling paling"

Terus gue kayak heh? Kok marah-marah? Mengapa begini. Sampe-sampe selebtwit sama musisi juga pada ikutan komen. Wadaw.

Gue bakal ngasih pendapat dari sisi gue dulu kali yaa. Sekilas dibaca si abang ini cuma nanya ada yang tau 3 band ini ngga? Then he proceeds by telling his own experience. Nggak ada yang namanya ngejatohin music taste orang lain. 

Tapi ternyata banyak orang yang entah mengapa sangat-sangat tersinggung dan nyerang orang ini. Karena gue bingung ya gue baca lagi berkali-kali. Ooo mungkin (menurut orang-orang, tapi mungkin loh ya) si abang tuh menyiratkan kalau selera musiknya lebih superior daripada lawan jenis (maksudnya cewek-cewek yang pernah dia tanya atau deketin kali yaaa). Yah kalau udah begini sih pecah jadinya. Sampe-sampe ada yang bahas tentang gender, double wadaw.

Karena gue udah kadung in too deep (padahal gabut aja sih), akhirnya gue baca tuh balesannya dia ke orang-orang. Si abang bilang pernah ngobrol sama cewek dan ternyata malah ceweknya yang bilang kalau dia beda frekuensi. Jadi ceweknya yang bilang ke dia, bukan sebaliknya. Tapi ada juga balesannya si abang yang menurut gue pribadi agak kureng dan malah jelas-jelas memperlihatkan bahwa dia memang "merasa superior." Terus dia tetep balesin reply-an masyarakat dan apapun yang dia tulis ujung-ujungnya tetep aja disudutin atau diejek, sampe ada yang akhirnya bilang gini:

"Lu sendirian kalo lawan orang rame gabakal menang bang. Gausah dipikirin lagi mending elu istirahat dari twitter dulu deh sampe pikiran lu dah tenang. Gua kasian sama elu bang. Semoga kesehatan mental lu tetep baik kondisinya 🙏🙏"

Abis itu si abang tidak nge-tweet atau balesin reply orang-orang lagi. Blessed that person for reminding him, karena mungkin bisa stres gara-gara ini doang. 

Lalu gue tidak sengaja nemu Twitter-nya Okky Madasari seorang penulis yang bahas tentang 'Mentalitas Kerumunan' atau Mob Mentality.

Kenapa orang bisa barbar dan beringas di media sosial? Kenapa orang bisa mudah menghina, berkata kasar, mengancam hanya karena beda pendapat? Jawabannya: MENTALITAS KERUMUNAN

1 menit video untuk @omongomongcom

Ulasan lebih mendalam silakan baca: https://t.co/obagcE6D6G pic.twitter.com/GQE7RtFve2

— Okky Madasari (@okkymadasari) November 17, 2021

 Jadi kata Mbak Okky Madasari:

"Seorang individu yang memiliki mentalitas kerumunan akan langsung merasa eksis, akan langsung merasa percaya diri, akan langsung merasa punya keberanian, untuk melakukan segala sesuatu hanya karena dia merasa telah menjadi bagian dari kerumunan besar. Media sosial MEMUDAHKAN setiap orang untuk merasa menjadi bagian dari kerumunan besar. Hanya dengan berkomentar, hanya dengan ikut-ikutan berbicara tentang hal yang sebenarnya tidak betul-betul diketahui, hanya dengan ikut-ikutan mencaci seseorang yang dijadikan musuh bersama maka dia merasa menjadi bagian dari kerumunan besar"

Mungkin tadinya tweet-nya si abang ini harmless karena sekali lagi menurut gue nggak ada kata-kata yang merendahkan, tapi ada si 'orator' yang menyuarakan rasa tersinggungnnya, dan diamini oleh orang-orang lain yang juga merasakan hal yang sama. Bahkan yang sebelumnya nggak merasa tersinggung jadi ikut-ikutan, sesimpel karena seru aja ada 'common enemy' atau emang pada dasarnya demen keributan bak emak-emak yang ngerubutin keranjang diskon di Ramayana. Mungkin mentalitas kerumunan ini membuat orang-orang merasa "I am a better person than you", meskipun hanya sesaat. 

Jujur, gue pun dulu sering merasa begitu. Ngeliat ada tweet orang yang rame terus dihujat terus ikut-ikutan sebel tanpa tau duduk perkaranya apa. Gampang kesulut lah.

Nah makanya ini salah satu alasan kenapa gue nggak segetol dulu main sosmed, terutama Twitter. Lama-lama kalau ada yang heboh, gue jadi kebawa arus, kayak nggak punya pendirian, kebawa sama opini mayoritas. Meanwhile I believe that there are two sides to every story (play All Your Heart by Transit), meskipun salah satu pihak yang jelas salah, pasti ada sebab-akibat. Nah sebab-akibatnya ini lah yang mesti ditelaah. Mengapa begini mengapa begitu. Tapi yaa banyak juga yang males melakukan itu. Kalau diem-diem aja sih nggak masalah, yang bahaya kalau dia asal komen.

Tapi di case perdebatan selera musik ini memang si abang seharusnya paham bahwa dari awal dia itu reply tweet orang yang mana bisa dibaca oleh masyarakat luas (karena Twitter-nya nggak di-private). Dan seharusnya aware kalo kemungkinan seperti ini bisa terjadi. Tapi gue iseng (baca: gabut) liat Twitter-nya dia, dan sepertinya memang dia suka sambat yah like many of us do, turning to Twitter as a release.   

Menurut gue sepertinya banyak orang-orang di Twitter ini memang seharusnya melakukan konseling wkwkwk. Tapi ya sekali lagi nggak semuanya (maaf) mampu, atau mampu pun nggak semuanya mau. Seperti yang dulu gue lakukan juga, suka overshare. Bahkan gue sempet bilang: Twitter for free therapy. Tapi lama-lama ya kok tidak pantas gitu yha. 

In case ada yang baca post ini dan wondering (sepertinya sih tidak ada): lo bilang udah nggak main Twitter tapi kok tau permasalahan ini? Gue deactivate main account  dan cuma pake second account yang buat jualan. Gue udah sebulan lebih nggak ngetweet di akun asli. 

Gue ngebahas masalah ini karena berhubungan dengan musik, kalau nggak mungkin gue juga nggak tertarik hehehe. 

Sosial media emang bener-bener sih, kalau tidak bijak dalam penggunaannya bisa fatal. Maksud gue bijak, tergantung masing-masing individu juga. Ada yang suka sharing karena memang sifatnya begitu, ada yang suka sambat, ada yang cuma buka sosmed buat nyari meme atau liat kocheng-kocheng kyut. Menurut gue sah-sah aja, SELAMA tidak menyinggung orang atau membuat orang lain sakit hati. Ini gue mau nyangkut ke agama dikit ya, sekarang kalau gue mau komen dimanapun, gue selalu inget (atau somehow diingetin) bahwa semua kegiatan gue nantinya bakal dihisab, bakal dipertanggungjawabkan. Dan gue yakin semua agama juga mengajarkan begitu. Bakal ada balesannya sooner or later. Makanya pun kalau mau berargumen mbok ya disampaikan dengan baik dan sopan. Atau lebih baik nggak usah sama sekali. Kan nggak lucu misalkan gue udah mau masuk surga (Amiiin) terus nggak jadi gara-gara gue komen pake emoji tai terus orangnya tersinggung. Gue sering sih pake emoji tai wkwk tapi kalo konteksnya emang becanda aja dan sama orang-orang yang gue udah kenal dan Insya Allah nggak bakal marah.

Tadinya gue mau ngomongin musik malah jadi ngomongin ginian haaa tapi memang human behaviour itu menarik, unik, dan ciamik untuk dibahas.

Ya sudah begitu saja, mungkin nanti gue akan mengupas tweet ini dari sisi musik. Itu juga kalau nggak males heheh.  

Sumber Foto:

Arctic Monkeys (RCTI Oke)

Disclaimer: This post is inspired by my own experience. Other people's might be different. This can be a hella biased or just call this a rant piece.

Ahh.. toxic people, sebuah momok di dalam sebuah relationship. Be it your friends, family, colleagues, bosses, classmates, or lovers.

I recently had to separate myself from 2 people whom I thought were toxic. The funny thing is they're the ones who cut off any sort of contacts with me including blocking me from their social media. 

I want to be adopt the "oh well, good riddance" attitude or be the so-called "higher individual", but I'm not that kind of person anymore, maybe in the past, but not right now. Yes, I'm being petty. 

I'm saying they're the toxic ones not just from my perspective, but from my other friends' as well. Kelakuan mereka adalah selalu playing victim even though they're the ones who are in the wrong. Yang jadi korban ke-toxic-an mereka juga nggak cuma gue, ada beberapa. So I'm not making up stories.

Tapi salah satu dari mereka sadar kalau dia toxic, tapi nggak mau ngeberesin perilakunya dia. Padahal salah satu temen gue udah offer untuk nemenin dia ke professional (psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist) bahkan sampe mau bayarin, tapi dia nggak mau dengan berbagai macam alasan yang nggak jelas. I know some people are apprehensive or even scared of going to therapy. But kalo lo udah merugikan banyak pihak, dan pihak-pihak yang lo rugikan itu mau membantu lo sampe segitunya. The least you can do is..accept the help.. maybe...I don't know.

The other one, doesn't realize it at all. It just makes me wanna whack them in the head.

I'm also aware that mereka berlaku seperti itu karena faktor-faktor tertentu, biasanya keluarga. Untuk itulah karena gue tau background mereka gue memaklumi perilaku mereka. Kasihan sebenernya. 

Tetapi semakin tua my tolerance towards those kinds of people is wearing thin. I just don't want to deal with them, I'm nearing 30 (yikes), I don't condone such behavior anymore. Especially jika mereka seumuran atau bahkan lebih tua. You're a full-grown adult, deal with your own problems. 

I know I can be toxic too sometimes. I can be selfish, self-centered judgemental prick, but I try my best not to show it. At least I try. So... kudos for me... maybe?

Maybe the silver lining is that God separates me from those people so I don't hold grudges. It is time for my to focus on myself. Thankfully, I'm surrounded by people who actually care about me, or at the very least tidak mencari gara-gara sama gue. I don't have any ill-wishes or pray that they live miserable lives. It's the other way around, I wish they can find themselves and resolve those things that make them behave that way. Because honestly, dealing with toxic people is emotionally draining. If you have seen What We Do in the Shadows The Series, there are energy vampires, they suck the life and joy out of you. And it feels exactly like that. 

From my experience, dealing with toxic people increases my anxiety. In the name of friendship, I couldn't say no to them. God, even thinking about that person makes my hands all cold and sweaty. I still have vivid nightmares about them. I'm that traumatized. 

So if you find traits on someone you know who is:

1. Selfish - Maunya dingertiin, dibantuin, pokoknya seakan-akan dunia revolves around them. Tapi dia tidak mau melakukan hal yang sama.  
2. Thinking that everyone else is wrong, they're always right. They are ALWAYS the victims. Everyone is out to get them.
3. Tidak melihat keadaan dalam berperilaku. Tiba-tiba marah sendiri pas lagi ngumpul, curhat saat kita sedang sakit atau ditimpa musibah, dll.
4. Not familiar with concept of reciprocal. 
5. Seeing people not as human beings, tetapi kesempatan. Will that person benefit me?

Sure everyone has their own negative traits. Tapi menurut gue, bagaimana dia menghandle perilaku-perilaku tersebut. Toxic people don't give a dang about other people's feelings, they behave as what their hearts desire.

So again, based on my experience. Just leave them. There is no need to linger with those kind of people. Except if you are a saint who is trying to change them. I admire that. But for me, I'm done.     

Image Source:

Toxic People

This notion has been lingering in my mind for quite a while.

Seeing the vibe on social media these days has left me with so many feelings, leaning towards negative. The reason why I made social media accounts was to escape from reality, but now I wanna escape from them. 

Especially with the issue of violence against women. Don't get me wrong, I 100% back up the idea of voicing this issue on different platforms. Before I get to this, I want to talk about one video from Sascha Stevenson. She and her family decided to move to her hometown in Canada. One of the reasons? Because the state provides a safety net for its citizens. The term 'safety net' is somehow embedded in my brain. Particularly with the Novia case (may she rest in peace). I was soooo mad when I read her story, mad to the core. I even cried and prayed for her after doing my daily prayer because I felt like that was the only thing that I could do for her. Because I know, to be able to do what she did, took a lot of courage. I don't condone any suicidal actions, but in her case, I felt like she was very brave. Is she going to hell? That's not my place (or any humans) to say or predict, quoting Habib Ja'far: that's God's prerogative right, not us. Coming back to the matter of safety net, Novia lost all of hers, from the death of her father (the figure whom she looked up to the most) to her rejection from the authority (where she actually sought help). Those who experienced trauma and depression, not only need support, but also safety nets. Someone or something that truly protects them at all costs. Someone said on the internet that Novia was able to survive that long because of kind strangers who were rooting for her but of course all of that wasn't enough. She needed tangible help and support.

I'm not saying that I know the full story, I simply am stating my own opinion based on my own experience. 

After Novia's case blew up, other similar stories started to emerge on social media. I'm actually glad that this is happening, but also sad. Those victims have no one to turn to other than social media/internet. Because those who are supposed to protect them, failed to do so. Well, it is both touching and sad at the same time because this isn't supposed to happen. Why? There are already official institutions for each specific case. But nowadays, everyone seems to do everything themselves. These shenanigans bring out the anger in me that I didn't know existed, and anger is my least favorite emotion.   

Not to mention, the so-called entitled "famous" people who feel like they could treat others do things as they please. I just can't anymore.

I'm writing this at 6 am in the morning and my head is hurting.

I don't know what is happening with people, why are they keep getting more evil each day. I'm not a saint either, but at least I try in my conscience state not to hurt anyone.

So I feel like nowadays social media is 70/30, 70 negative 30 positive. The bad outweighs the good.

But at the same time, I want to keep my social media because all of my friends are there. I want to know what they're up to, their activities, et cetera. That is probably why I'm still on it, keeping track of my friends. Also finding out music news, but there are still other ways to do that. 

I have done this actually, not posting anything for a month. The result? I came up with ideas, writing ideas to be exact, and I had so many times to focus on my self-development without any useless distractions. Sure you felt the FOMO at first, but it'd eventually pass.

So I guess I won't completely quit social media, just limit my usage. Only for certain reasons.

"Do you want to be just mediocre?"

That was pretty much what my professor said to me a long time ago.

Looking back, now I have an understanding that maybe that's his way of seeing the world, to push his students to be something even more. But back then, the insecure me could not see it that way. After hearing those words from him all I wanted to do was just shut myself from the world.  

Hmm while I am writing this, could it be his words that unconsciously making me insecure throughout these years? Well, I have no idea, nor do I hold a grudge toward him. 

Because back then, I was always on edge, I felt like I constantly needed to do something but I had no idea what it was! Which was frustrating. I went to work with a heavy heart, and when I came home it seemed like I had accomplished nothing or had been doing something meaningful. That's why I spent my days restless and confused. And opening social media often didn't help either, they made it worse. I kept comparing myself with other people on Instagram. At the end of the day, all I could do was crying and just wanting to disappear.

But thankfully, recently, I'm beginning to take it easy when I have to deal with something. I, who got  stressed easily because of many things, (from career to love), now slowly shifting to be more ignorant.

The context of being 'ignorant' here doesn't mean that I'm static or reluctant to change, but more to self-acceptance and accepting circumstances. I was really harsh on myself, saying "why can't you do this? Why can't you do that like everyone else?" Just awful. 

I realized that I am who I am. There are parts of me that I cannot change no matter how hard I try. I used to imagine myself being able to mingle with a lot of people, turning myself from an introvert to an extrovert. But now, when I am an adult, not much has changed really 😂. 

When it comes to working, I was fortunate enough to explore myself. I did something beyond my imagination, which is public speaking. Well well well, come to think of it I was quite foolish haha! But turned out, public speaking wasn't as scary as I initially thought. Even though I don't feel like I am an expert in that field, at least I tried. So when it's needed, I already have a trick on my sleeves.    

This year, I am also more accepting of what I'm capable of, I don't feel like I have to this or that but I'm not really focused on anything. I just have to work on what I have at the moment. 

Ever since I was a little kid, I had no ambition or obsession to be or do anything and it also happened when I applied for college. I saw my friends were so on fire wanting to get accepted to their favorite universities (which is totally fine by the way). As for me? I too had some majors that I want in mind, English Literature and Psychology, but I didn't do much really. I even only applied to two universities, one of them was where my mother worked hehe.   

But now, I have a goal, but I want to keep it to myself, only God knows what it is 😏. Well, the point is that this goal can be reached through various routes, not just one way.

I'm grateful that now I work in a place where I'm comfortable, although honestly, the salary isn't that big, but I got this job during a pandemic, something that many people really want and need and I'm fully aware and thankful for it.

But I also don't discredit people who have big ambitions and desires, if everyone was like me, what would this world be?? There will be no world leaders and the world will be in chaos. Even in animal life, there is a hierarchy and system of its own, you can't just mess around.

I just now believe that everyone has their portions in this world, if it's my destiny to be someone mediocre, then I am all in.

“Ih kamu gendutan deh.”

“Kurus banget sih.”

“Eh pacarnya mana? Sendirian terus.”

“Pacaran udah lama, kapan mau nikah?”

“Nggak mau tambah anak lagi? Nanti keburu tua loh.”

Pernahkan kalian mendengar salah satu perkataan di atas? Kalau iya, marilah kita tos ✋.

Kalimat-kalimat tersebut dinamakan basa-basi. Menurut KBBI, basa-basi itu artinya: “ungkapan yang digunakan hanya untuk sopan santun dan tidak untuk menyampaikan informasi, misalnya kalimat “apa kabar?” yang diucapkan apabila kita bertemu dengan kawan”

Lucunya ada kata-kata ‘sopan santun’ di dalam pengertian basa-basi, tapi nyatanya di dalam pengaplikasian hal itu kerap tidak terjadi.

Curhat sedikit, waktu itu gue kerja di suatu perusahaan, terus kolega gue selalu bilang gini “Ah si Dea mah kurus banget” atau kalau misalkan gue mau ngangkat barang berat, salah satu dari mereka ada yang ngomong “Jangan De, ntar lo malah jatoh lagi.” Awalnya sih gue ngerasa yah mereka lucu-lucuan aja. Asal njeplak. Tapi gue yang awalnya nggak peduli sama sekali sama berat badan gue, lama-lama karena keseringan gue malah jadi insecure. Di rumah gue jadi kebih sering nimbang dan ngaca sambil membatin “Emangnya ada yang salah ya sama diri gue?”

Contoh kasus gue mungkin hanya salah satu kejadian yang masih biasa aja. Banyak sekali jenis basa-basi yang lebih nyakitin di luar sana.

Karena gue gemes dengan topik ini gue sampe bikin pertanyaan di Instagram: Basa-basi apa yang paling ngeselin?

Sejujurnya gue nggak nyangka lumayan banyak yang respon dan basa-basi yang mereka terima cukup bikin garuk-garuk kepala:

Itulah beberapa respon yang gue dapet. Gue yang baca sampe ketawa miris dan ikutan kesel juga.

Terus semua kejadian ini membuat gue berpikir, kenapa ya orang Indonesia suka banget basa-basi nggak penting? 

Budaya & Kebiasaan

Orang Indonesia yang memang terkenal ramah dan segan kayaknya nggak bisa langsung ngomong to-the-point, rasa-rasanya tidak elok dan tidak sopan. Misalnya kalau ada seseorang yang meminta untuk pinjam uang kan tidak mungkin ujug-ujug langsung ngomong ke intinya, pasti diawali dengan menanyakan kabar atau kondisi.

Sebagai Pembuka Percakapan

Faktor ini yang memang biasanya penuh dengan basa-basi menyebalkan. Contohnya pas kita datang ke pernikahan atau acara keluarga sendirian, pasti ada aja yang nyeletuk “sendirian aja nih?”, terus nanti dia sok asik ajak kita ngobrol tanpa ada beban apapun sehabis melontarkan basa-basi yang terdengar nggak enak di kuping.

Menjaga Kerukunan dan Keharmonisan antar Sesama

Menurut naskah publikasi berjudul “Fungsi Basa-Basi dalam Tindak Bahasa di Kalangan Masyarakat Jawa (Kajian Pragmatik)” karya Lina Nuryani dari Universitas Muhammadiyah Surakarta, basa-basi adalah suatu bentuk konkret demi mencapai kerukunan di dalam masyarakat, khususnya di Jawa. Dan menurut gue ini cukup bisa dilihat di masyarakat pada umumnya, dengan melakukan basa-basi diharapkan hubungan antar individu bisa terjaga lebih baik lagi.

Sejujurnya gue tidak against basa-basi sih. Karena berdasarkan studi yang dilakukan oleh University of Chicago yang diambil dari Kompas.com, basa-basi yang dilakukan justru berdampak positif untuk kondisi emosional serta kemampuan bersosialisasi para relawan yang mengajak bicara orang asing di perjalanan menggunakan kereta. Nah, kalau jenis basa-basinya positif kayak contohnya menanyakan kita sedang sibuk apa, lagi suka ngerjain apa, dan bentuk basa-basi lainnya yang memiliki tujuan bermakna dan membuat orang yang dibasa-basiin jadi senang, gue sangat mendukung sekali.

Terus bagaimana caranya supaya kita tidak terbawa emosi menghadapi terpaan basa-basi ngeselin?

Terkadang memang sulit untuk menghadapinya tetapi jangan sedih apalagi terlalu baper, coba kita take a step back dan lihat kondisi si penanya. Apakah kita tahu apa yang sedang orang itu alami? Apakah dia sedang mengalami masalah hidup? Kalau iya mungkin dia sedang membandingkan diri dia dengan kita. Berusaha mencari tahu apakah kehidupannya lebih baik daripada kita. Tapi kalau memang dia baik-baik saja, mungkin memang pertanyaannya serius. Mereka beneran concern tentang kondisi kita.  

Tetapi mentang-mentang gue bikin post kayak gini, gue juga bukan orang suci yang lepas dari dosa basa-basi ngeselin. Gue pernah juga melakukan itu dalam keadaan sadar, sengaja dan juga tidak sengaja. Kayak udah kebiasaan aja gitu. I am also at fault tetapi gue mencoba dengan sekuat tenaga untuk tidak melakukan basa-basi tidak penting lagi. Walaupun kadang masih keceplosan juga.

Intinya, kita memang tidak bisa terlepas dari basa-basi karena memang kebiasaan ini sudah mendarahdaging dari jaman dahulu kala. Mungkin yang kita bisa lakukan adalah lebih mindful dalam berbicara. Sebenarnya tidak terpaku hanya dalam hal basa-basi saja, tapi juga di saat kita berbicara dengan orang lain secara umum. Sebelum keluar kata-kata dari mulut kita, sebaiknya ditelaah dulu, liat situasi dan kondisi serta lihat pula lawan bicara kita. Jangan sampai perkataan kita menyinggung apa lagi menyakiti orang lain.