Life, Man
August 28, 2015
Fuck, I was
about to work on my final paper but since it’s August 28 2015 I’m just going to
write what I truly feel today.
Today is
Andrew Mcmahon’s concert in Singapore. His first ever show in the country as
well as in Southeast Asia. I though today I’d be in a hotel (or motel) room
somewhere in Singapore waiting for the show to start. But that’s not the case.
Instead I’m here sitting alone in Dunkin’ Donuts accompanied by a chocolate
doughnut and an overly sweet blended Thai Tea.
Surprisingly
I’m not as bitter and upset as I thought I would be and I’m grateful for that.
I’m grateful that this concert marks my ability to be more accepting in life.
It is really hard to describe, but usually I when I want things, they come
easily. Not that I’m a spoiled brat, but because I rarely desire a lot of
things. And this concert is something rare and I want to go there with all my
heart. I remember that the first time I heard the news that Andrew would do a
concert in Singapore, I jumped into a conclusion that I should get a part-time
or full-time job during Ramadan, two months before d-day. Unfortunately, I
couldn’t find a single job and I had money just to buy the ticket but not the accommodation.
My plan B was to wait to ask my parents for the accommodation money. Fast
forward t one day before Eid, I asked my parents’ permission to go to
Singapore, but my Dad wouldn’t let me. I was so upset for two days straight and
it was the worst Eid ever for me.
I thought I
would be sullen and all miserable forever, but I am not. Probably because I’m
no longer a teenager and too old for that shit. I’m still sad though, it’s the
only emotion that I feel right now.
I have
learned not to push things if they’re not meant to be. I have written on this
blog about Andrew and his influence in my life (damn now my eyes are teary),
and this is not the right time. Maybe God has a different plan.
This year
has been pretty rough on me but I try to be grateful and accepting every day.
I know this
is technically not a ‘music’ post, BUT THIS IS MY BLOG BITCHES AND NO ONE’S
GONNA READ IT ANYWAY.
Haha this
is probably the most personal thing I write on this blog. Anyway I’m going to
end here before I start to go all emo and put on excessive eyeliner and cut my
wrist and make a Myspace account.
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